I got this of the south african honda site and thought it was funny.
Jokes To Offend Everyone
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded
Q: What's blue and screws old people?
A: Hypothermia
Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her
Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time?
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is flipping her.
Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
A: They don't flipping listen.
Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhoea
Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating ass once in a while too.
Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.
Q. Why do queers like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.
Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
A. Your ass kicked.
Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.
Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.
Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it
some jokes to offend everyone
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civic4life13
- Posts: 1115
- Joined: Tue May 08, 2007 5:09 am
some jokes to offend everyone
^matt talking about going down on black girlsMatt;80636 wrote:when you go down on them they kinda look like burn victims
RICE4LIFE Member #1
I'm gonna do the things I wanna do, I aint gotta thing to prove to you - WEEZER
09 Civic SI faster then half the board and its stock
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ObsesionWitSped
- Posts: 1830
- Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 4:59 am
some jokes to offend everyone
Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
Lol. If I was a woman, I'd be offended. But I'm not, so lol.
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
Lol. If I was a woman, I'd be offended. But I'm not, so lol.
2006 Nighthawk Black Pearl RSX
Talking about Andy's drop:
matt: looks like 2 inches to me
mybluesi: matt were not talkin bout your dick....
Talking about Andy's drop:
matt: looks like 2 inches to me
mybluesi: matt were not talkin bout your dick....
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Tyler
- Posts: 2223
- Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2007 7:19 am
some jokes to offend everyone
el oh elQ. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.
Never bring show to a go fight
Im a loser
:L33T:
Im a loser
:L33T:
[Today 09:58 AM] btlfedgolf: Its not a race car until you remove the door panels
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Waffles
- Posts: 6876
- Joined: Mon Dec 11, 2006 3:45 am
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JonDubya
- Posts: 1202
- Joined: Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:30 pm
some jokes to offend everyone
Q. What's the difference between a dead baby and a steak?btlfedgolf;84287 wrote:Must not start with the dead baby jokes......
A. You don't fuck the steak before you eat it.
1997 AIGSR.
trophaeum: hows it sound to u to be in amsterdam fucked up on any drugs we can lay our hands on with legal weed for at minimum of 8hrs
Fucking eh cotton!
trophaeum: hows it sound to u to be in amsterdam fucked up on any drugs we can lay our hands on with legal weed for at minimum of 8hrs
Fucking eh cotton!
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Tyler
- Posts: 2223
- Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2007 7:19 am
some jokes to offend everyone
havent heard dead baby jokes since i was a wee little lad.
Q. What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a corvette?
A. i dont have a corvette in my basement.
Q. What's funnier than a dead baby?
A. A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome
Q. What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A. A baby with a punctured lung
ok, ill stop for now
Q. What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a corvette?
A. i dont have a corvette in my basement.
Q. What's funnier than a dead baby?
A. A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome
Q. What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A. A baby with a punctured lung
ok, ill stop for now
Never bring show to a go fight
Im a loser
:L33T:
Im a loser
:L33T:
[Today 09:58 AM] btlfedgolf: Its not a race car until you remove the door panels
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brittany
- Posts: 156
- Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2007 12:19 am
some jokes to offend everyone
oh wow...those are...awkward
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J8k'S CRX
- Posts: 946
- Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2006 7:56 pm
some jokes to offend everyone
Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her
i could not stop......love it.
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her
i could not stop......love it.
:stick:
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kra95civic
- Posts: 2484
- Joined: Tue Feb 13, 2007 3:50 am
some jokes to offend everyone
Q: what do u tell a woman with 2 black eyes
A: nothing u already told her twice
Q: whats a queers favorite day of the week
A: wednesday (hump day)
Q: how do u kill a blonde
A: tell her there is a scratch and sniff sticker down on the bottom of the deep end of the pool
Q: whats the difference between a hooker and a lawyer
A: the hooker wont fuck u after ur dead
A: nothing u already told her twice
Q: whats a queers favorite day of the week
A: wednesday (hump day)
Q: how do u kill a blonde
A: tell her there is a scratch and sniff sticker down on the bottom of the deep end of the pool
Q: whats the difference between a hooker and a lawyer
A: the hooker wont fuck u after ur dead