jeff foxworthy on missouri

[Liquor Assassin]

got this off of the stl scion forum
Jeff Foxworthy on Missouri



If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through
March, you might live in Missouri.

If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't
work there, you might live in Missouri.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the
middle of his forehead, you might live in Missouri.


If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same
time, you might live in Missouri.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
you might live in Missouri.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Missouri.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Missourian WHEN:

1. Vacation means going east or west on I-70 for the
weekend but you never leave the state.

2. You measure distance in x days.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than

once.

4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and

back again.

5. You drive 65 mph through a raging blizzard, without
flinching.

6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events
(including weddings).

7. You install security lights on your house and garage
and leave both unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to
use them.

9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit.

10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes
are filled with snow.

11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
winter, road construction,& It's Hot.

12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a
deer next to a blue spruce.

13. "Down south" means the boot hill of Missouri.

14. A brat is something you eat.

15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new

pole shed.

16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.

17. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

18. You find 0 degrees a "little chilly."

19. You know the difference between corn and soy beans at

a glance.

20. The #1 reason you are from Missouri is because you
know that East St. Louis is not in Missouri.

21. A "hill" is any landmass higher than 20 feet above

sea level.

22. You never drive anywhere within 20 miles of home
without there being road construction.

23. You don't believe it until you see it.

24. You actually understand these jokes, and you share
them with all your Missouri friends.



What's not to understand?


had me rollin

[Spork]

dispite being born and raised here, i guess I'm not a "true Missourian"...

[deetz]

we got an equal amount of bars ass churches over here in illinois, i guess im an illinoianmissorian

[Liquor Assassin]

party poopers

[unpaidbill]

Some truths there. I've seen the second half of that for Minnesota, though.

[integra23]

thats freekin hilarious

[JonDubya]

Some truths there. I've seen the second half of that for Minnesota, though.

cut and paste...