Jokes thread

rickles8099 · Post by **rickles8099** » Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:28 pm

have a joke or some jokes? post it/them up.

Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?

A: They can't find the zipper.

Post by **budget_crx** » Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:31 pm

Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant having a meal. Skillfully using his chopsticks, Obi-Wan deftly dishes himself a large portion of noodles into his bowl, then tops it off with some chicken and cashew nuts. All this is done with consummate ease you'd expect from a Jedi Master. Anyway, poor old Luke is having a nightmare, using his chopsticks in both hands, dropping his food all over the table and eventually himself. Obi-Wan looks at Luke disapprovingly and says, "Use the forks, Luke."

integra23 · Post by **integra23** » Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:31 pm

Yo Mama is like a bus, she's big she doesn't smell very good and it's only a dollar to ride.

integra23 · Post by **integra23** » Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:38 pm

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight.

The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!”

rickles8099 · Post by **rickles8099** » Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:41 pm

youre stealing from jokes.com!!!!!!!11211121!!

integra23 · Post by **integra23** » Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:43 pm

whats wrong with that, you didnt say i had to make them up i thought they were funny, i read that site everyday. haha

integra23 · Post by **integra23** » Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:45 pm

last one, i almost fell out of my chair on this one

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man looked horrified and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."

So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her; I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."

"No," the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him." The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a bitch to death with the chair!"

JustRob · Post by **JustRob** » Thu Mar 15, 2007 8:46 pm

Your momma is so fat, when she goes to McDonalds, everone starts singing "Its Going Down!"

ZenXtra06 · Post by **ZenXtra06** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 12:19 am

Rex Grossman tried to kill himself, but somebody intercepted the bullet.

TurboFreak · Post by **TurboFreak** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 1:20 am

Q: What did the chinese parents name their retarted baby?

A: Sum Ting Wong

BAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!1!111!ONE!