TCC’s Worst Car Names Ever

[Waffles]

Naming cars, like naming kids, sometimes comes out all wrong, even with the very best intentions. Striving to be creative or just different, some parents cripple their progeny with appellations guaranteed to result in a lifetime of mockery. It's the same with cars -- though it's much harder to change the name on the fender than it is to call yourself "Mike" instead of "Shemp."



Which names have clanked the loudest into car history's wastebasket? These are TheCarConnection's 15 contenders:


Ford Probe

In a single stroke, Ford managed to alienate half the potential buyers of this otherwise not-bad sporty two-plus-two coupe. The unfortunate connotations bothered many women in the same way that hearing that banjo theme from Deliverance tends to put most men on edge. Not one of Ford's better ideas.

Daihatsu Charade

It's not really a car, it's just pretending! This was one of those econo-boxes that was not merely humiliating to drive, it embarrassed its owner each time its name was uttered. "I drive a Charade." Good-bye, prom date! (See also: Ford Aspire.)

Pontiac Aztek

The name's not even spelled correctly, for openers. And it didn't help matters that the vehicle itself resembled a dumpster on wheels. The Aztec civilization stood no chance against the ugliness (and illiteracy) of this General Motors sheetmetal horror show.

Isuzu Big Horn

Sometimes, size really does matter! The associations conjured up here are surely not what Isuzu intended. That's what happens when things get lost in translation.

Mazda Protégé

Someday, it hopes to be a real car, we suppose? Tagging your car a junior partner is forever pegging yourself a Robin, not a Batman. And who wants to be Robin?

Toyota Yaris

A Toyota what? Maybe it doesn't matter as long as the first name is there, but Yaris sounds like the noise you'd hear issuing from the gullet of an exotic animal. Or maybe it is a small animal? (Sorry, dude, my Yaris left a mess on your rug.)


Mitsubishi Mirage

Hmm, famous mirages. The Flying Dutchman? Cher's musical talent? A "mirage" is something that's not really there, a figment of your imagination -- when in distress, especially. Not the hot ticket for a car name, eh?

Geo Prizm

It doesn't separate light waves, just you from your cash. At least this thinly disguised, rebadged Toyota Corolla sold by Chevrolet was an okay car under its goofy nameplate.

Nissan Altima

A made-up word that attempts to evoke positive associations -- in this case, height/achievement, we think. (See also: Subaru Justy, Toyota Camry, Olds Alero, Chevy Lumina, etc.)

Pontiac Banshee

This name never reached production, because luckily for Pontiac, someone consulted a dictionary before the concept escaped GM's design studios. A Banshee's shriek heralds imminent death, among things - someone page the liability lawyers!

Dodge Swinger

You'll also find ads for these on the back pages of adult magazines. Okay, it was the '70s, but still - why not just call it the STD?

AMC Gremlin

Do you really want to own a car named after annoying small problems that are next-to-impossible to fix? Courtesy of the same folks who brought you the Pacer.

Mercury Mystique

Way too close to "mistake" for comfort. (A Mercury executive made just that slip-up at one of the press introductions for this car.) The third or fourth attempt by Ford to build a "world car" that not even the U.S. was much interested in.

Volkswagen Touareg

Impossible to pronounce or spell correctly without lessons, this name takes the cake for being the most gratuitously recondite car name of the past 30 years - not to mention its unfortunate link to a slave-trading North African tribe.

Chevy Camaro

This one apparently has double-entendre meanings in other cultures, such as "shrimp" -- or worse. (See also Chevy Nova; it "doesn't go" en espanol.)

[99PreludeSh]

Toyota Yaris

A Toyota what? Maybe it doesn't matter as long as the first name is there, but Yaris sounds like the noise you'd hear issuing from the gullet of an exotic animal. Or maybe it is a small animal? (Sorry, dude, my Yaris left a mess on your rug.)

Now that there is funny!

[Spork]

some good ones in there for sure. :biglaugh:

[schmoe5]

My friends and I used come up with different names of cars like the

Pontiac Sunfire would be Pontiac Gunfire or Funsire

Cavalier - Cavaqueer

I can't remember the others but those were the cars we owned at the time.

[TurboFreak]

used to call ford thunderbirds , thunderchickens...mustang=rustang, explorer=exploder lol

[SweetEBPSi]

used to call ford thunderbirdsl

How about thunderterds.

[schmoe5]

How about thunderterds.

nice

[Kolk1]

I drive a Nissan Versa, What the hell is that?