Now thats how you sell a car

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muha22752
Posts: 1727
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2008 2:32 am

Now thats how you sell a car

Post by muha22752 »

Craigslist ad in Canada.
http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/pml/c ... 10616.html

This isn't your normal skyline. This motherfcker is the skyline God would drive if he wasn't busy doing God sh*t like making tsunamis and crap. Its set up to go fast, and go fast sideways. Who doesn't like to get sideway?! Terrorists, thats who. Are you a terrorist? No? Then you need this car.

Handling? This car handles like a junior executive CEO. Go around corners like the devil himself is chasing you, and not give a fck.

Whats that? You like drifting? Well I've got some great god d@mn news for you. This car was a drift project of mine, and the last owner was planning on making it a drift machine too. Interior is for pussies so we got rid of it. Manly as fck. It literally oozes testosterone. So much so that its puddling up in the back.

Seats? this cocks*cker has got two. One for you, and one for the hot @ss broad thats gunna be all upons your dick after you buy this car. You're a girl? Sh*t works both ways. One seat for you, and one seat for that hot @ss dude you've been trying to hook up with for weeks. Deal with it,sh*ts getting serious.

Stereos and AC are for hippies. Fortunately this car has neither. Oh look at me, I like listen to Simon and Garfunkel and think about puppies. F*ck that. The only noises you're gunna be hearing is the ultra manly engine noises coming from this sweet turbocharged, intercooled, 24 valve inline 6. Sh*ts getting real, real f*cking fast.

This car has got a bright orange ebrake handle (b*tches love orange) with a drift button for those super ultra megahellatastic bar room brawler ebrake lockers. F*ck. Yes.

Now, I'll be honest. The wheels are a little lackluster, although everyones gunna be so focused on your super gangster drifting that nobody is going to give a f*ck about your sh*tty stock 16s. Don't worry, I've got you fcking covered. Its like we're in Vietnam and you just got ambushed by Charlie. Don't worry, friend, I've got your fcking back and I blow charlie to kingdom fcking come. For an extra $450 I can throw in some added p*ssy magnets for wheels, just don't come crawling back to me complaining that you're getting TOO much vajayjay. Bright fcking green 18s. Greens not your thing? Super legit silver 18s. Done like dinner.

This car has got 1.5 metric f*ck tons of awesome parts. Bride, Greddy, Brembo, the list doesn't f*cking END. It just keeps going and going, like the energizer bunny on speed.

You like going fast? Ever tried to outrun 24 police cars and 3 helicopters? You need this car. It will go so fcking fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was fcking rad. Its like someone took a rocket and opened its mouth and poured steroids down its throat and and threatened to kill its family if it wasn't the fastest motherfcker you've ever driven.

I get it. You're busy, I'm busy, lets not waste time. If you're interested send me a message and I'll get back to you ASAP. You send me a message, I send you one right back. Thats how this works.

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umadbro?
"You have to pay to play"
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W.K.D
1995 Civic Si 1.6 (Sold)
2000 Honda Prelude Base 2.2 (sold)
2003 Audi A4 1.8t (sold)
2000 Ford Expedition Limited Edition 5.6 (sold)
2001 Nissan Sentra GXE 1.8 (sold)
Edison Carasio
Posts: 2335
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:23 pm

Now thats how you sell a car

Post by Edison Carasio »

Canada? I woulda guessed Jersey.
“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” - Bruce Lee

"In the spring you will bloom like your heart through the glass in the back of the ambulance. You turn and you turn and you turn down the street, one more turn, won't you come back to me? And as it turns, the red lights, they were turning into red roses, red roses. Red roses. I'm not giving up." - Steps Ascending by Thursday
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Uncle_Willie
Posts: 216
Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2010 11:14 pm

Now thats how you sell a car

Post by Uncle_Willie »

I definitely want to buy that after reading.
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1992 Civic Dx Sedan
l D15B Vtec l Tucked l lowered l Fit Sport Wheels
1998 Civic Ex Coupe l Ls-Vtec l Eibachs
1994 Honda Elite SR50 l 72cc Malossi Big Bore l Full Bolt-ons l plastics stripped
1994 Honda Elite l 6800 miles l Blown up
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crxbrad
Posts: 350
Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 2:38 am

Now thats how you sell a car

Post by crxbrad »

Hahaha!

It's gettin serious real fast!
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luthoro
Posts: 216
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2011 2:24 am

Now thats how you sell a car

Post by luthoro »

Thats awesome as hell. This dude is a boss. I got money says that car sells real fast.
"Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance."
Rollin on 18 wheels all day every day.
94 Honda Accord, the daily- rebuilt F22 VTEC, OBX exhaust, Ractive header, stage 1 clutch, lowered. Temporarily on lease to a friend.
85 Ford F250, the project- 460 big block, now driveable!
Edison Carasio
Posts: 2335
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:23 pm

Now thats how you sell a car

Post by Edison Carasio »

luthoro;276986 wrote:Thats awesome as hell. This dude is a boss. I got money says that car sells real fast.
Either that or no one will because the ad is on the line between being funny or douchey.

After all that talk, the car it self looks pretty bland.
“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” - Bruce Lee

"In the spring you will bloom like your heart through the glass in the back of the ambulance. You turn and you turn and you turn down the street, one more turn, won't you come back to me? And as it turns, the red lights, they were turning into red roses, red roses. Red roses. I'm not giving up." - Steps Ascending by Thursday
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luthoro
Posts: 216
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2011 2:24 am

Now thats how you sell a car

Post by luthoro »

He went outside the box, thats worth points to me.
"Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance."
Rollin on 18 wheels all day every day.
94 Honda Accord, the daily- rebuilt F22 VTEC, OBX exhaust, Ractive header, stage 1 clutch, lowered. Temporarily on lease to a friend.
85 Ford F250, the project- 460 big block, now driveable!
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sammybammy
Posts: 191
Joined: Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:57 pm

Now thats how you sell a car

Post by sammybammy »

Already read this and it hurts my head.
04 ssm em2
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wanaboostDC2
Posts: 378
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 6:21 pm

Now thats how you sell a car

Post by wanaboostDC2 »

Reminds me of the POWERTHIRST videos
97 Integra GSR - K20 Swapped Daily.
94 Integra RS - Built turbo soon to be a beast.
Your Shits Weak!