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T-Rock
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Post by T-Rock »

Not everybody is willing to walk into a large group of people and just start striking up conversation. It can be a little intimidating especially when everything seems somewhat segregated at the meets, you know veterans in one group new guys in another. A conversation goes both ways, some times there needs to be a invitation of conversation from the veterans( or regulars) to make it feel a little more comforting and welcoming for the new guys rather than leaving them on the sidelines lookong like a dumbass. This is just an observation from an outsider though.
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zacs2k
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Post by zacs2k »

slammeds2k;161201 wrote:I think it goes both ways there are is alot of negative on the site but there is also a lot of positive as well. Some people just take the negative more to heart then others. Ill admit I have flamed people for negative comments here and there. For me its just what kind of mood Im in. I think people sometimes come off a cliquey at meets because you guys have known each other for ever so when a new guy shows up he feels left out. I just really have nothing to talk about when I go to meets because not thery many people own the same vehical as me. All in all I enjoy the site and am on it every day. I hope to get back into gong into the meets I have just had alot going on.
i agree.its all about the mood im in.

I didnt feel to comfortable at the stlhondas booth because i dont know too much about other cars other than integras, and all the other guys knew each other and were gathered around the table talking.

T-Rock;161280 wrote:Not everybody is willing to walk into a large group of people and just start striking up conversation. It can be a little intimidating especially when everything seems somewhat segregated at the meets, you know veterans in one group new guys in another. A conversation goes both ways, some times there needs to be a invitation of conversation from the veterans( or regulars) to make it feel a little more comforting and welcoming for the new guys rather than leaving them on the sidelines lookong like a dumbass. This is just an observation from an outsider though.
im one that is not anxience to jump in a crowd and introduce myself. If there are a couple guys i can talk to them, but it seems like they have been around each other for awhile and talk about "this guy" and "that guy" and you have no idea who they are talking about or what they are talking about so ya kinda just have to sit there.
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eh2_Erik
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Post by eh2_Erik »

i feel as though is should read all of this...

but nahhh.
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99BlackHatch
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Post by 99BlackHatch »

T-Rock;161280 wrote:Not everybody is willing to walk into a large group of people and just start striking up conversation. It can be a little intimidating especially when everything seems somewhat segregated at the meets, you know veterans in one group new guys in another. A conversation goes both ways, some times there needs to be a invitation of conversation from the veterans( or regulars) to make it feel a little more comforting and welcoming for the new guys rather than leaving them on the sidelines lookong like a dumbass. This is just an observation from an outsider though.
I can understand how it can be intimidating, I'm being 100% honest too. But I'm not going to lie, you gotta let your balls drop some day and man up.

I mean for fuck's sake... The girl with the red Eh2 civic pulled up to BBT and walked right up and started talking to us without hesitation. I tip my hat to her for being a chick and having more nuts that some of these "outsiders"

When I joined STLSR however long ago, I got on that site and threw up my BlackHatch in "Member's Rides", I got attacked and flamed and laughed at for having a Civic. I remember the most was...
Nice car, my sister drives one too. lol
... I got mad and I was intimidated, but I still went to the meets, and hung out and talked to EVERYONE, and for those that know me, that is exactly how I am, I will talk to anyone.

But I won't lie, I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for the asshole tough guys that bashed me and my car right off the bat. Believe it or not, that helped me want to learn more about cars and meet these "assholes" face to face, and to find out that they are actually pretty cool in real life.

To this day, I talk to everyone that I have met along the way in these past 7 years. I can still talk to them and to be honest, I still talk to the "asshole" that made fun of my hatch in the quote above. I talk to him a lot actually just to bullshit and laugh.

If you get insulted, bashed, or made fun of... take it with a grain of salt. Otherwise, you will miss out on A LOT of good things in life that come after the "tough times".
I'm still a neighborhood ASSHOLE!

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delslo
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Post by delslo »

99BlackHatch;161338 wrote: The girl with the red Eh2 civic pulled up to BBT and walked right up and started talking to us without hesitation. I tip my hat to her for being a chick and having more nuts that some of these "outsiders"
I walked right up and introduced myself as well. I was very warmly excepted but it wasn't long before you guys were talking about things I had no idea about (Frisky Dingo at the time, which i thank all of you for introducing me too) and i soon found my self hanging with the new guys, which as it turns out are pretty freakin awesome too.

Yes new people need to man (or woman) up and come say high. I have no problem with that but, not everyone is as outgoing as you or I. Is it out problem? No. We should how ever take a second and say hello to the 2-3 new kids standing by them selves on the other side of the lot.

I am 100% with you on the asshole flamers of stlsr and in general people who wanna talk shit to you for driving a foreign car. Its only made me love hondas more and laugh harder at their broken down vehicles.
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Post by luvmyhondas »

SlowOne.5;160888 wrote:LOL i'm so glad i dunno the drama w/ everyone on here. i love being out of the loop!
ditto.


and I agree with several others...it's the freakin internet! don't take it to heart.


AND...if you go to a meet and feel left out it's your own damn fault! You gotta put yourself out there a little if you REALLY want to join in. Sure, you may get hazed a little at first. You might get pissed off a couple times, but eventually you will be one of the 'veterans' or members of a 'clique' when that newer guy/gal shows up. So big your big boy/girl underwear on and introduce yourself or engage someone in a conversation.
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Its Pat!
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Post by Its Pat! »

you guys ARE frightening to approach. what the fuck are you talking about?
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Post by GTI-Guy »

We were just talking about this at the VW club I'm also a member of

The verdict?

As a club, and long-time members especially, we need to do a better job with new people that show up, this includes:

[INDENT]Proactively saying "hello, thanks for coming out"

Introducing yourself and the others in your conversation circle

Asking them about their car, hobbbies, ect

Periodically including them in conversations[/INDENT]
If you decide you don't like them, fine, but the "new kid in school" needs to be given a fair shot of dovetailing in

This is not gayness, it's just how you build a club, social or business network whatever
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Spork
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Post by Spork »

I won't say I am the most social person on this site, but I do what I can to say hi to new people when they come out. I have also struck up conversations with people at junkyards and told them about the site, some were members already, some weren't. Half the time though, with meets like Midnight Madness and stuff like that I don't know if the person I am talking to is a member here (and if so, what their username is), if its some random person interested in hondas, or some guy that is a diehard domestic fan that hates hondas. I approach these larger meets with a little skepticism because of that. Meets like Bubble Tea (check the meets section- its every thursday ;) ) are a little easier to get into because they are specific to our board.

That said.... I wouldn't expect to show up once and have a horde of new best friends. From what I have seen, even if you are shy, the people that keep putting in effort and show up a few weeks in a row to things like Bubble Tea, or to multiple meets (midnight madness, our meets, ect) usually find themselves right in the middle of things fairly quick.
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delslo
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Post by delslo »

GTI-Guy;161371 wrote:We were just talking about this at the VW club I'm also a member of

The verdict?

As a club, and long-time members especially, we need to do a better job with new people that show up, this includes:

[INDENT]Proactively saying "hello, thanks for coming out"

Introducing yourself and the others in your conversation circle

Asking them about their car, hobbbies, ect

Periodically including them in conversations[/INDENT]
If you decide you don't like them, fine, but the "new kid in school" needs to be given a fair shot of dovetailing in

This is not gayness, it's just how you build a club, social or business network whatever
+1
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